Friday 4 May 2012

Confessions of a converting ass face

Being a parent brings out the best and worst in people, and I see it in myself and others daily.  I have a lot of bad habits that I have been trying to iron out before and since baby.  One is drinking.  I happen to love drinking.  I mean have a romantic attachment to drinking.  I dream of it, think of it fondly, daydream of our next joyful reunion.  It's for those reasons that I quit drinking.  Coming from a long line of drinkers, it's for the benefit of everyone that I got my stuff together and parted ways with my old friend.  I am happy to say that it's been 5 months since my last glass of wine.  I am not happy to say that I have wet dreams about drinking on a semi regular basis.  Too far?
Another thing I am trying to control is swearing.  Let me tell you a little story without swearing.  Nope, can't do it.  Because I love swearing right up there with drinking.  Nothing drives a point across quite as well as a sharp f-bomb.  How would someone know that I dropped something if I didn't mutter (or yell) sh!t.  It's also hard when Tyler swears just as much as I do.  We keep saying that we need to get a grip on it, and then another day, week, month goes by and we will soon have a two year old getting sent home from daycare for telling someone to suck it.
The final biggie on the list of repairs that need to be made to my parenting (I'm limiting this list for everyone's well being) is being a judgmental, too-cool-for-school ass face.  It's really hard to stop being a jerk after spending a good chunk of your life being a jerk.  I remember from a very young age being the sarcastic mouth piece in class and in groups of friends.  The funny thing is, I cannot figure out from whom I inherited this trait in which I am forever grateful.  It is said that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but I am going to have to disagree with that one.  I happen to really enjoy the company of other people who can poke fun, take a good poking, and realize that I am not trying to hurt them.  To those who can't, that's why we aren't friends.  Your loss loser. It's really hard for me to not judge you for your stupid outfit, ridiculous acrylic nails, awful extensions, orange tan, etc.  What I am now practicing is keeping these thoughts to myself.  Mostly for the boy.  I don't want him to learn to be an ass from his parents, let the kids at school teach him that.
I happen to have some really good examples of parents that I would love to take some lessons from.  One is my sister in law, Amber.  She is one of the most calm and collected women I know.  She lives in a house full of men, and they are all angels (although I'm sure she would beg to differ some days).  They have manners, bedtimes, and respect the rules.  She and her husband have raised to great little boys, and unfortunately they are too far away for me to spy on their parenting skills through the window.
Another is one of my best friends, Ember.  She is a sweet dream and will put her friends right up there in life with her family.  Her two little girls have learned how to love as openly as their mama.  The whole family makes my heart sing (yeah hearts can sing), and again, too far for creeping through curtains.
Renee, mother nature, crafting genius, sacrificing sleep and sanity for the sake of your handsome boy.  Keeping him original and perfect.  Teaching him to love nature and books.
Donna may potentially be mother of the year.  She always amazes me with her insane mommy abilities.  Staying up until midnight to make a last minute Wonder Woman Halloween costume.  Working a full time job, driving to and from camps, being a Beaver Leader (go ahead and laugh, she leads Beavers) preparing delightful meals, and still offers to take my baby from me so I can sleep.
I have so many other friends who are doing a fantastic job being the best moms they can be.  I can only hope that we can take a little bit of the awesome from each other and spread it around.   We are doing the best job, the hardest job, and the most rewarding job, and our little ones wouldn't trade us for all the toys, cookies, mud pies, trips to the park, or doggies in the world.  Thanks for being there for me to learn from.

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